Jo Brand on Ageing, Grief, and the Future
Approaching her 70th year, Jo Brand says her decision to write about the realities of aging was less a result of intense rumination and more a pragmatic response to an invitation. While she laughs off the idea that the subject has consumed her, the process encouraged a deeper look at her future. She stresses that now is the time to finalize life goals, noting that people often delay desires until it is physically impossible to pursue them. Who turns 70 next year, been spending a long time thinking about getting older, h ad Jo Brand. I think a lot of people say, ‘I really want to do that, but I’ll forget it for now. Does she mean bucket-list things? “No, I mean … what do I mean. “I know it’s not legal yet, but I think it will be, sooner rather than later. But ageing isn’t, sometimes, of course Brand is fun. She was sacked, it was not investigated; instead. And tried to be pleasant to everyone – not on stage, I accept that, because a lot of people think I’m probably horrible, but in my personal life, i’ve been a bit friendly. We’re in a meeting room at offices, Brand glorious in layers of black with dark pink hair, looking queenly but punk. “I have always been one because … well, why. So maybe I spent quite a lot of time doing that.”, my dad was quite hard to please. More aggressive than the drunk men who heckled her, they’d back off – or at least, she hoped, word would get around that she wasn’t to be messed with. “If you’re heckled, you have to deal with it because audiences lose faith in you if you don’t, so I had a sliding scale of pleasant through to soul-destroying, if she could be more vulgar. Stayed out, discovered drugs. “But that was more to do with the circumstances we were in,” she says. “At the time my dad was in a very bad place, and so he was really difficult to live with, she had unsuitable boyfriends. Or my little brother did, mainly when I answered back to him. Brand, I notice, tends to downplay a lot, but it must have been scary. “It makes you a bit jumpy, hypervigilant. Was she in danger of going out of control? “I always had a sense of when the brakes should be applied. But not in any well-formed sense of doing an act, becoming a comic had been Brand’s ambition since she was a teenager. “I liked making people laugh. She thinks, and that no heckler could ever be as shocking or as aggressive as some of the patients she had dealt with, who suffered with psychosis. “I was a bit hardened.”, it helped that she was older.
In her new bookDecline and Falling OverBrand describes the period beyond middle age as “your shitter second half.” The tone is characteristically comedic, yet the work addresses sober themes, including the prospect of eventually requiring long-term care. Her early exposure to residential care—working in a home for adults with learning disabilities as a teenager—left her with lingering concerns after witnessing poor conduct by staff during the 1970s.
Reflecting on her own future, she admits to uncertainty and finds it unlikely she will be able to rely on family for caregiving. She identifies this as a common struggle for women who habitually prioritize others’ needs over their own. Despite her reputation for a bolshie, unflinching stage persona, she describes herself as a chronic people-pleaser—a trait she finds as surprising as others do. And then they get to a stage where they can’t. Given her bolshie stage persona and unflinching attitude, surprises me (although she has always seemed thoughtful, and very kind). “It surprises me as well,” she says, brand writes several times that she’s a “people pleaser” – which.
Brand suggests that her stage character served as a necessary defense mechanism when there were few women in comedy.
During her start in the 1980s, she often encountered aggressive heckling from intoxicated men.
She learned to use a sharp, intimidating presence to shield herself, noting that the reality of the circuit was vastly different from her actual temperament. She recalls, for instance, shouting through doors to ward off male comedians who attempted to enter her hotel room.
Looking back at her youth in Hastings, Brand describes a rebellious phase characterized by unsuitable partners and substance use. She moved into a bedsit at 17, relishing the freedom but maintaining enough personal restraint to avoid serious addiction. She eventually pivoted to a career in psychiatric nursing before attempting stand-up at age 29, driven by an arbitrary internal deadline to try comedy before turning 30.
The comedian has faced significant personal tragedy over the last decade, losing her parents, both brothers, and two of her three closest friends. She admits she has been adept at suppressing her emotions, a habit influenced by a societal expectation that women, like men, should not display weakness. She notes that her book explores the “angry stage” of grief, arguing that anger is as valid a response to loss as sadness. I like the whole ‘grumpy old woman’ sort of thing.
Regarding the physical toll of aging, Brand is unsentimental. She jokes that it is too late for rigorous gym attendance and suggests following her great-grandmother’s approach: staying in bed and consuming chocolate. She also expresses support for the right to assisted dying, revealing that her mother had obtained the means to end her own life during an illness, even if she did not ultimately use them.
Currently, Brand is performing “work-in-progress” shows. She finds liberation in the term, as it lowers the pressure to deliver a polished performance and acknowledges that much of the material may ultimately be discarded. These sets reflect a shift from her earlier career, during which she successfully transitioned from the gritty comedy circuit to mainstream television stardom with programs likeJo Brand Through the Cakeholewhich famously featured her spoof detective sketches.
